Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Dear Future Me...
Dear Future Me,
I wonder what you're doing, where you are, who you're with. This is a thought that crosses my mind often at the moment.
You've spent the last 2 years in France and like with everything, living abroad has had its ups and its downs. You've trusted people you shouldn't have done and you've been hurt by them, you've found people that you now count as part of your 'French family', you've had moments where you've wanted to get on a plane and fly away, you've had moments where you have wanted to cry with happiness, you've worked in ski resorts and you now count the mountains as your home as well as being able to speak the French language almost word perfectly. But you still feel like an outsider.
What you wouldn't pay to be wander down the high street and hear English voices, go to university and speak in English all day, every day, not be judged for your accent and not feel like every problem is an unsurmountable challenge. You love your life here, but there are days when you count down the days to the next time you'll be home. At the same time, you can't imagine living anywhere else.. in the perfect world, you'd move your family, your friends, your house to France and stay here for life.
That said, you have an incredible life and you feel ungrateful to feel this way. You have had opportunities that many only dream of and you have experienced things that people twice your age have not yet experienced. You wonder whether you overanalyse things and whether you try and predict things too much in advance.
The most important thing you have learnt though is to love life and appreciate every single second of it. It sounds cheesy, but you've wasted too much time thinking about people who don't matter and about things that probably won't happen.
What would you say to your past me? Embrace whatever shit's going on, love the people who care you about right now and delete your Facebook, you'd get so much more done.